mucho gracias to all the ppl who asked me about my last post. thanks for your care and of
course, your understanding, even though i didn't tell you much of anything.
just to clear up something, the thing i mentioned wasn't really a sad thing, it was more of an anger thing, at
myself, for being so dumb. just a realization about something and i was disappointed... sad? well, not really,
nothing i can control, so why be sad? eh, whatever.
vladimir, me and rudy at the football match
so the football match i went to, between alemannia aachen and
1860 münchen was awesome... 1860 is a first-division
bundesliga team, and alemannia only a second-division team, so i thought
1860 was gonna win for sure... after all, 1860 is in 8th place in the first division, though alemannia is in
first place in the second division... good for promotion to the first division next year! if it holds up, at
least...
the tivoli stadium, in aachen
1860 scored first, on this penalty kick in the 11th minute... some stupid penalty an alemannia guy took. this
guy was horrible. he got taken out a few minutes later... i dunno if it was about the penalty, but he sucked.
willi
landgraf... pure suckage. his defensive partner was also pretty sucky, but he managed to stay in the whole
match, frank
paulus... ack...
alemannia tied it up late in the second half, a great passing play, with a nice finishing header by
george stanley
mbwando... and then overtime... it's not a golden goal thing here, where the first goal wins... it's called
a silver goal, where you play the first 15 minutes of overtime regardless if someone scores or not... and then,
if it's still tied, then it's sudden-death for the last 15 minutes...
so anyways, no goals in overtime... so it goes to penalty kicks. lemme tell you, i think this thing could have
some merit in the nhl... it was so tense... so alemannia goes first (opposite of
what you might think - the home team is first here, not like in baseball)... goal! and then 1860... goal! and
so on... until it's 4-4. last penalty kick for both teams. alemannia... goal! and then 1860... a
huge stop by the alemannia keeper! alemannia wins!!!
it was pandemonium... hahaha... well, maybe not... but it was great, all the same. the alemannia keeper had
totally set up the last guy, cuz on the first 4 kicks, he always dove right, and the kicks all went left. then,
on the last guy, he dove left and made this deadly save. it was sweet... what a great match. tight scoring,
really exciting, overtime, penalty kicks... awesome.
thomas, fritzi, me, and angie
anyhoo, here's a pic of me and my roommates... just in case you've never seen a pic with them all... i'm not sure
if i've ever posted one, but perhaps on the old version... whatever. angie is actually not living here at the
moment, cuz she's got a 3-month internship in frankfurt... so we've got a subletter roommate, anne-laure, who's
french... she's here on her own internship thing as well. she's coolz too. i don't have a pic though... maybe
later.
aight, nadine's got a bday party in köln tonight, so i should start getting ready to go... staying overnight,
probably at juan's place, so you won't see me online... hey, is anyone else getting massive emails from
careerowl? it's really annoying. i think i've gotten almost 200 emails
over the last 24 hours. i tried to log in to stop them, but the profile page isn't working. crap. i think i
might have to block the site.
aight, i'm out, yo.
<note> i think i might have been a bit misleading in my last sentence of the first
paragraph in this post. i meant to say that i had the choice to use my dad's air miles, but i chose not to.
it's clear in the third paragraph, but just in case anyone thinks that the first one is a bit ambiguous, that's
what i meant to say. </note>
and so it goes. let it be known that the reason i've been using to explain why i won't be home for christmas
this year - that it costs too much - is still valid. but i've had the choice, and since decided, to go home with
a flight booked with my dad's frequent flyer points.
side note: i didn't realize how many points my dad had. holy cowboys. he could fly from canada to europe and
back... 5 times! five!! crazy. i had no idea he flew so much... or spent so much on those
air miles credit cards... hahaha...
anyways, i made the decision today not to go back, even though there was a flight itinerary available for me to
go back... instead, i've decided to stay here for christmas and to go back next june, for
my bro's graduation. i should be able to see a few other ppl like
cynthia and karyn and whoever else is graduating this year too.
i know a couple ppl are disappointed i won't be back, including my parents, of course, but in light of everything
else, i think this is the right decision. i got some saving up to do anyways.
i talked to my mom today for a little while. we caught up a bit after her caribbean cruise vacation. said it
was alright. :P well, anyways, i think i finally explained to her how i view my future, and what i intend to do
with it... we had a good chat.
it was interesting. you know, no matter how old you get, sometimes, your parents can surprise you, and my mom
did it again today, telling me that she couldn't see me at some desk job doing paperwork. i was like, you're so
right, that's totally not me! and then i went on to tell her about how i see things happening, where and what
i plan on going and doing... i think she's pretty cool with it, cuz i explained how i'm just not ready to commit
to a career yet, not knowing what i want to do. i know enough about what i don't want to do,
but that only helps when you've got offers...
anyways, so that's that. i went to the second smd hauskreis,
a bible study in german... i still didn't understand more than 25% of what was going on, but i know that we read
the book of
esther and talked about it (ok, the other ppl talked about it)... oh wellz. hopefully i got something from
osmosis... :P
in the recent tradition of my bro's blog, here's my word of the day.
nullibicity. i'm not sure it's a real word (no entry on
dictionary.com, but it's listed in ask
jeeves, so...) anyways, it means the state or result of being nowhere. how to use it?
well, as my brother put it, the nullibicity of work in his academics will lead to his demise.
hahaha...
i knew someone was gonna ask me if this whole thing about staying
in germany was just another ploy to surprise everyone by showing up in toronto again... but no, i'm really
staying here this time. in fact, someone should come and surprise me here by coming to visit!
played my best basketball in a long time tonight. i was playing decent d (of course, i still suck), and i was
making some good plays and passes... just need to finish better. i must've blown at least 10 breakaway layups. i
just can't do them properly. yeah, my best basketball. you don't wanna see me at my worst. :P
anyways, didn't mention this in my last post, but i led worship last week at
ibc... it was good. i made it a little bit jazzed up, playing mostly
fast songs, really putting my signature style (if i have one) on it... quite a few ppl came up to me afterwards
to say that they enjoyed it. i think it was a nice change from the calmer and quieter worship that we normally
have, but again, it can't always be like that. it was a nice change of pace.
i'm also leading again this week, but i think it'll be a better mix of slow and fast. it's communion sunday too,
so i probably won't play as many to begin with. ah wellz. can you believe that i have to teach "days of elijah"
to them? well, maybe some of the young'uns know it, but i still have to teach it. oy! it'll be fun. :P
a belated silent moment for our war veterans, who paid the price (some, the ultimate price) of our freedom and
democracy.
...
just a quick note to send out congrats to the ppl of toronto, who selected a fine person in david miller to lead
the city in the next 3 years. gosh, with martin, mcguinty and miller (3 m's? hmmm...) at the helm, it's almost
enough to make one wanna move home! :P
i scored 2 tickets to the germany-france football (soccer) friendly on saturday night in gelsenkirchen... i'm
going with rené, from ibc. should be good times. i know viet woulda
wanted to go... heheh...
11.18.2003 the saucy spanish and fab french
time for a pic update. i was gonna rant about this general malaise i've been feeling and commenting on a link my
bro sent me, but maybe tomorrow.
katrin, silvi and me, at josé's party
so anyways, a couple weekends ago, one of jason's roommates, josé, had a birthday party... it was coolz. a lot
of spanish ppl were there, plus a few friends of the other roommates... had a good time meeting new ppl (there
seem to be a lot of spanish ppl working at philips...) and catching up with
friends i hadn't seen in a while... katrin, a friend of silvi's, was also visiting, and we chatted a bit about
life and what we wanna do with ours... we're both sorta at that crossroads where we still don't know what to
do...
mark, david and me... yes, it was smoky...
also saw mark and david there, the guys who i went down to the black forest with... actually, we met up for
dinner last night... we try to do that every now and then... mark made a really chunky quiche, with tons of
stuff inside... more stuff than egg filling actually. he also had some sorta marinated shellfish appetizer and
asparagus too... we went out to play some pool after dinner... mark's a real pool shark, once he gets going,
though he does have a tendency to pocket the cue ball... heheheh...
rené and me, just before the second half
anyhoo, last saturday, rené and i went to watch a friendly football match (that is, it doesn't count for
anything) between germany and france, in gelsenkirchen... it was a good match, i thought, because i got to see
thierry
henry and zinedine
zidane play. sweet! other big names involved were
robert
pires, david trezeguet,
michael ballack and
oliver kahn...
the arena auf schalke (click for a larger version)
the match was played at the stadium for the bundesliga first division
team, schalke 04... really nice
stadium, 60k capacity, and host of the 2004 champions league final... woohoo, gonna try to go to that one too! i
called viet during the first half, just to say that i was there... i knew he'd like something like that... :P
a corner kick by zinedine zidane
anyhoo, the game itself was alright... germany seemed to press the action, but the french counterattack totally
crushed the german defense. henry popped in the first goal on a header and made big plays on the two goals by
trezeguet... zidane was his usual magical self, making passes and dekes out of nowhere... one time, he challenged
a german attacker and i swear the ball just kinda went to his foot and stayed there. the german guy just lost it
somehow. it's like zidane is a football jedi or something, mastering "the force" of the ball... hahaha... in
the end, it was all france, 3-0.
the french cheering block
the crowd wasn't as loud as the match i watched in dortmund... it got deathly quiet after the third french goal.
i mean, seriously, i could whisper to rené and he could hear me, it was that quiet. except for the french block
of course. they were pretty hardcore about it. there was one guy, in fact, exhorting the french crowd to cheer,
using a bullhorn... i don't think he turned around to watch any of the second half. hahaha... notice the glass
or plexiglass partition around the french crowd? yeah, it's that serious... on a lighter note, in the pic, you
can also see this big banner like a french jersey and they waved it after every goal... it was coolz.
11.19.2003 melancholy is best served with warm milk
how do you forget? how do you just let things go? how can you stop thinking about something? it's tough, man,
really tough. how do you forget about someone you've only spent the last 4-5 years thinking about almost every
day?
this little thing i'm struggling with is part and parcel of the general blahness i've been feeling lately... as i
put it last post, a general malaise. that's really the right word. i
feel decent, but deep down, i know that there's something wrong. i haven't felt like this in a long time. i'm
searching for something, and i'm just not finding it.
unfortunately, this is causing me to pull back. i'm not reaching out like i used to, and i don't know if it's
directly due to the trying-to-forget thing or if it's something else. it's mostly with ppl overseas... i've just
sorta stopped reaching out. not that i don't still call ppl... i do. just not quite as often as i normally do.
what's weirder is that i've been talking to my family more often. hmmm, priorities changing? maybe.
i'm also starting to wonder about my future. i know the saying... i don't know what the future holds, but i know
who holds the future (hint: His initials are J.C.)... but even with that reassurance, i'm still stuck, spinning
my wheels. i think that's why i really admire ppl who are focused on something they enjoy doing and they do it.
ppl who know what they want. i'm not even close to that point.
and i'm starting to think about some random things... i've been wondering: is there a point to even moving back
home? ever? i mean, my parents left hk when they were really young and never looked back... i wonder if they
ever felt the same dread i'm feeling now. but regardless, they moved on... and i guess i have to as well. where
to? who knows. i've just got a feeling though that i'm not gonna be back... at least not for a long while...
which is a bit unfortunate... my bro sent me
this link to the 40th anniversary of my junior high school. it's
been a long time since i've been there... 11 years! whoa. and i'd love to see how ppl have been, where they're
at now, etc... but i can't. and i won't. and the same probably applies for my high school too...
ack. whatever. just needed to vent. i don't expect or want your pity or sympathy. just wanted to let you know
what the deal was. if you even wanted to know, that is. eh, whatever.
had a great weekend. reviving.
but today is for my mom, since it was on this day back in... ok, i won't mention the year... that she was born!
ok, it's not hard to figure out, since she'd be qualified to retire now, as those old
london life commercials used to
say...
one thing my parents really emphasized when me and mike were growing
up was the sense of family... my dad would always ask us some rhetorical questions to which the answer would
inevitably be "cuz i'm your son"... and we were always told about how we couldn't choose our family (in the blood
relation sense)... ok, maybe cuz mike and i fought so much, but the emphasis was still there...
something they specifically did was to celebrate everyone's birthday... it was really important that we, as a
family, were together for those times. and that of course meant that we had to remember everyone's birthday...
looking back, i really appreciate how my folks brought us up. i really miss those days of old, when life was
simpler, i was less busy, and your family was your first priority (whether by choice or not)...
happy birthday mom! love, steven
11.26.2003 the mountain just got higher
a lot of ppl say they look up to their dad. i know i do. but then it's something else when your dad leaves such
big shoes to fill. i dunno if ppl necessarily have expectations of my
bro or myself to fill them, but still... i wonder about such things...
i mean, the sheer amount of volunteering my dad does, all the meetings he attends, the philanthropy, the
compassion, the influence... amazing. if i even come close to half of what he's accomplished, i'd live a full
life. and now? oh, just the usual... you know, work, family, yee hong meetings, and, oh, i almost forgot, he's
also
advising the new mayor of toronto. whoa.
weekend update coming soon, i promise.
11.27.2003 where's norm macdonald when you need him?
so the belated weekend update i promised... here goes...
i rented a car on friday... ended up being a vw touran. what's that, you ask? think of it like an old school
nissan quest, only with new school vw quality. yeah, it's just a big station wagon. well, it wasn't exactly my
choice, but whatever. it went like stink anyways. 180kph in one of those? easy as pie.
anyways, so what did i do with the car? i went to siegen, which is an hour east of köln, for a regional retreat
with the smd campuses in this area... aachen, düsseldorf, köln, bonn, julich and
siegen... it was coolz, even though the whole weekend was basically in german. i didn't understand much, and
hence, i didn't learn very much new stuff, but it was just really nice to get away and spend time in a place
where everyone was just praising God all the time... sweet. i miss that stuff.
so that was friday night, all of saturday and sunday morning. drove back to köln for service at
ibc, where i was leading worship again... third time in 4 weeks! i've
been kinda repetitive with my songs, as a lot of them are sorta new for the congregation, but i think we've sung
them enough that they remember them... time to move onto some other stuff...
anyways, after service was a church business meeting... the church will be moving locations, as the host church
is expanding their own programs so they need all the time there... and so we're moving to some place across the
river... sounds like a pretty decent place...
at the cbm, we also started talking about the church budget... well, not to get into any specific stuff, but it
was a little more than interesting... let's just say, money still makes the world go round. basically, the ppl
who were there were divided into 2 camps: those who wanted to concentrate on our own responsibilities, like
paying the pastor and the rent, and those who wanted to stick to commitments we had made regarding tithing to
other ministries, even if that meant that we were looking at a shortfall... well, needless to say, things got a
bit heated...
after that, there was a cologne worship night, which was really good... there
were a few new songs (finally!), but the real kicker was this speaker from the usa... he's in some band and he
was telling us this message, using matthew 14 (where Jesus feeds 5000 ppl with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish and
then walks on water)... it was so powerful. his testimony, his message. i really felt God speaking through him
about getting out of the stupid boat.
anyways, this all brings me to my last point for the weekend... i spent the last couple hours thinking about how
far i've come here... almost 2.5 years, settled in pretty nicely, speaking passable german and hopefully getting
better every day... got a lot of friends, got a good church, attending german bible studies... so why do i still
feel like i'm treading water?
i really felt like i was stepping out of my own little bubble when i first moved here... really taking that bold
step, relying on God for His provisions... getting out of that boat and walking on water. and now... well, i've
lost that feeling and i'm drowning. i gotta get back to that point somehow...
11.30.2003 i vant to suk yor blud!
note: i changed the keira knightley link to imdb cuz the old
one was dead and just to be consistent.
one interesting thing i found out last thursday... i was out in the christmas market for the first time this year
with chris, marty, andreas, markus b., mark and martina, and we were just chillin' out, drinking some
glühwein (mulled wine)... i was eating schaschlik, which is supposedly some
hungarian shish kebab thing...
well, chris tells me andreas is hungarian, but born in germany... hahaha... he got it all mixed up. andreas,
after telling me what i was eating wasn't even close to being hungarian (kinda like chinese food here, i guess),
went on to explain that he was half-german, half-hungarian, but born in romania... except that the part of
romania he was born in used to be part of hungary... i don't know when exactly, but of course, then he goes on to
name it... transylvania!
andreas was born in transylvania!!! hahaha... deadly. that was hilarious, when i found out. chris says he's
seen pics of andreas when he was younger with long hair and said he looked freaky back then... heheheh, all part
of the culture i guess... so jokes.
anyways, so this weekend has been really chill. i did some shopping for some basic stuff (soap, toothpaste, and
the like), but after some heeing and hawing, i spurned the opportunity to get a pair of
adidas t-mac 2's on sale. do i
really need another pair of basketball shoes? no. i did buy a wool skullcap-thing, so now
i've got the whole thug look down. heheh.
went to köln last night to watch some movies. everyone seemed to be busy so i ended up watching them by myself.
first i saw love actually, another british romantic
comedy that wowed me, and not just cuz keira knightley is in
it... great ensemble cast, including hugh grant, who's rapidly
turning out to be one of my favourite actors. go figure.
the second movie was master and
commander - the far side of the world, which is based on a novel actually... didn't know that before.
pretty good movie, but without knowing that it was based on a series of books, well, it leaves me wanting more...
and hoping there will be more. russell crowe doesn't strike me
as the kinda guy who would reprise a role again though. doh.
alrighty, time to post. happy december to everyone!